Playing Dead

When I first came to the DR, I was determined that I was not going to experience culture shock. I had planned to be a missionary half of my life and I knew that would mean living life differently in a different place speaking a different language. I was not only ok with that, I was excited to embrace it and learn new things, maybe even better things.

Was I sorely mistaken! In fact, I might have even experienced culture shock worse than some because I was so determined I wasn’t going to experience it. Had I expected and embraced it, I might have worked through it faster.

But, alas, this blogpost isn’t about my process of working through culture shock. It is about the fact that I am still learning and still shocked by many things in this “new” culture in which I live.

Today was one of those days. It actually started a few months ago and hit me like a brick today…

Over the last few months, the idea of family keeps running through my mind. Or lack of family, more precisely. How not one of my kids (or teenagers) in the batey seems to grasp what God’s design for a family is. Not for lack of discussion, of course; but not having SEEN it, they don’t really have a mental file folder to put those conversations into. What they have seen is a whole lot of open immorality, unfaithfulness, families in which almost every kid is from a different father, etc., etc., etc. I want so badly for a couple of these teenagers to get a glimpse of what God’s design for the family is and to live it out for the next generation to have that example.

So today, I was sitting in the school watching the kids play at recess. Yariel called Daihana over and told her to “Come be the mom” of two other girls who were lying on the ground. I was immediately intrigued…I had never seen the kids play house before so I started watching more intently. I wanted to know what their version of “playing house” looked like. It didn’t take me long to realize that they weren’t playing house. Rather the 2 boys were racing each other on their chair “motorcycles” like maniacs. And the 2 girls lying on the ground? They were playing dead. The had apparently either fallen off the bikes or been run over by them. And the “mom” was supposed to come get her dead daughters. And that was perfectly normal to everyone involved. Why? Because it is what they have SEEN. Almost daily, I pass two or more young men racing down the road on their motorcycles at incredibly dangerous speeds. And quite often, those races end up in permanent damage or death for those involved. In fact, it has happened to several in the batey. It’s life they know.

What struck me was not the fact that they were playing a gruesome game that involved death. Unfortunately, I’ve seen that before in many places. What hit me like a brick is the fact that imagination and play give us a tiny glimpse into the mind of a child…What is it that they see every day? What is their “reality”? The fact is, I have never seen any of them play house before (perhaps they do and I haven’t witnessed it). What I have seen them play is fighting and driving recklessly and death. It breaks my heart that this is more their reality than family. I hope that one day, family will be a reality and I will get to witness their kids playing house - pretending to cook dinner, go to work, and discipline their pretend children.