“I’m Not a Christian Anymore Because…”

If I had 10 pesos for every time I heard this, I'd never lack for money to buy my favorite cappuccino. I say that in a joking manner, but in reality, it’s no laughing matter.

The following is just of one of many similar conversations I have had:

Amanda (accusingly): “Sandra’s a Christian?” (knowing that Sandra made a profession of faith a year ago)

Sandra (embarrassed): “No.”

Me: “You’re not a Christian? Why?”

Sandra: “I’m not a Christian anymore because they listen to worldly music in my house.”

Me (confused look on my face): “And….?”

Sandra: “And I like it. I can’t help myself. I dance to it.”

Me: “So you’re not a Christian anymore because you dance to bad music?”

Sandra (sheepishly): “Yes”

In each conversation, the reason why one is no longer a Christian varies, ranging from things like listening to worldly music to saying bad words to wearing immodest clothing. Now, before you jump to conclusions, I am not saying those things are ok for a Christian to do, nor am I in any way trying to condone sin by what I write in this post. I firmly believe that a believer in Jesus will be drastically different from the world in the way they talk, the clothes they wear, the places they go, and the music they listen to (it may not happen all at once, but true faith will change those things). However, what concerns me is the fact that my kids/teens in the batey think they are losing their salvation over these things.

I realize that, as believers, we may have different viewpoints on the eternal security of salvation. However, for me this issue goes much deeper than this one teaching. For me, it reflects a lack of understanding of salvation - of the Gospel. 

Allow me to explain.

The Gospel tells us that we are sinners, separated from God.

For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23 KJV)

Kids instinctively know this. I have yet to meet a kid who told me they weren’t a sinner (if they understood my question and answered seriously). Every one of these kids/teens who has made a profession of faith has had no problem admitting they are a sinner and that that sin deserves the punishment of hell. They know! (unlike us adults who compare ourselves and think we aren’t so bad or we don’t deserve a punishment quite so severe)

              

The Gospel tells us that Jesus is the Son of God sent to take the punishment for our sins, give us righteousness that we couldn’t manufacture, and bring us to God.

For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. (2 Corinthians 5:21 NKJV)

…for us also…[righteousness] shall be imputed, if we believe on him that raised up Jesus our Lord from the dead; who was delivered for our offences, and was raised again for our justification. (Romans 4:24-25 KJV)

If the child has been in church for any amount of time, believing on Jesus and what He did is no stretch for them. Obviously, they don’t understand all the ins and outs, but they do trust Him and believe that He died for their sins and rose again.

The Gospel tells us that the way to receive God’s gift to us is by faith –believing what Jesus has done for us and putting our trust in Him. God’s gift of grace to us is that it’s all by faith in Jesus, not by what I do for Him.

“But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.” (Titus 3:4-7)

 “For by grace are ye saved, through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest any many should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)

The faith of a child is so simple: from just about the first time I share what Jesus did for them, they believe it. They almost instinctively know that they can’t get closer to God on their own. I have yet to have a child tell me what many adults say – that they want to become a Christian but they need to "get their life in order first" or "draw closer to God first." Kids just know they can’t.

All that remains, then, is for them to choose to receive this grace-gift by faith when the Holy Spirit convicts their heart and shows them their need of Him.

“But as many as received Him, to them gave He the power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name.” (John 1:12)

So when one of these who has made a profession of faith in Jesus tells me months or weeks later that they lost their salvation because of what they have DONE, it makes me wonder if they are truly understanding that salvation is by faith and not by works. If I can lose my salvation by works, then that must mean that I have gained it by my works. If I gained salvation through faith (not based on what I do/don’t do) then how could I lose it by what I do/don’t do?

What I am trying to say is that there is some kind of disconnect. Some understanding of the Gospel that is lacking. Either these kids are tender to the Lord but have not truly placed their faith in Christ alone because they haven't understood the Gospel that salvation comes by faith alone, or they have placed their faith in Him for salvation but are now trying to keep it on the basis of their works.

To some degree, all believers have this disconnect (maybe not in our stated theology but in our actions). There is a part of us that thinks that we must work to earn God’s favor. It just makes sense to our human nature: you get what you earn. I receive salvation by faith, but I am constantly trying to make sure I keep God’s love and favor by what I do/don’t do.  That's one reason why we must constantly “grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord” and learn to “live by faith.”

So, the question remains, what are these kids trusting in? Do they truly understand that salvation is by grace through faith and not by works? Or are they trying to both trust in Jesus and earn His favor by their good works? What I have been learning is that, as much as I would love to be able to see into their hearts and know exactly what they are thinking, what they are trusting in, it’s not my job to determine whether they are true believers or not. My job is simply to point them in the right direction and leave the work of faith to the Holy Spirit. To point them to God the Father who is so kind, merciful, and loving that He devised this amazing plan called the Gospel. To show them that this God who went to such lengths to rescue them, isn’t sitting around looking for a reason to take away their salvation. And, above all, to point them to Jesus – to the incredible Man and Savior that He is – and to faithfully teach all the incredible benefits we receive because of His death and resurrection.

The only solution is Jesus! Seeing Jesus, savoring Him, understanding what He did for me (that I couldn’t do for myself nor even knew that I needed done). Letting His grace break down this religious idea of a salvation that “converts me to a Christian so that I can be really good” and replacing it with a Biblical salvation that causes me to cling to Jesus and His goodness, to rest in and follow Him. The former is based on my performance and dependent on me, the latter on the work of Jesus. If I only accomplish one thing in the time that God has me here, may it be this: “to preach Christ and Him crucified” – to point to Him in every Bible story, every conversation, every song, every action. The only solution to all this confusion and self-reliance is to see and rest in Jesus.

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I'm sure that many of you have had similar experiences. It is not a “cultural” thing, it is something common to all of our depraved human hearts that seek a formula to get to God rather than clinging to Jesus.

In the next blogpost, I plan to write about some specific aspects of batey culture that compound the situation for these kids. Thanks for reading!

In Sunday School, we started a new project and the kids are super excited! Instead of doing a coloring page or craft each week, we are making books! The book will basically be a timeline of the main events in Scripture from creation to Christ. When we finish, I plan to hold a special ceremony and present each child with the book they have created and send it home with them.

My purpose for this project is four-fold:

11)    Review the stories! It is just one more way to review the stories we have learned. Each week we will add one page (event) to our book and review the details of that event. Each event is a story that I have taught already, but since most of the kids are hearing the stories for the first time review is always helpful…your mind can only absorb so much the first time you hear the story (esp from your teacher who has a funny accent). Also, since understanding Abraham and the nation of Israel is so key to understanding much of the Bible, I don’t think it is possible to review too much.

22)   Reinforce the big picture! Reviewing the stories gives me an opportunity to reinforce the big picture that we have been discussing of how God is working in the Bible (keeping the big picture in mind can be difficult for all of us but even more so when every story is brand new to you). 

33)    Help our transition! I decided to take a leap from the OT to the NT in our stories after we finish with Solomon and the division of Israel. While I was really looking forward to teaching on the kings, I felt that right now, I want them to keep the big picture in mind and I believe the best way for them to do that will be to give a quick overview of the kings and the exile and them jump over to the Gospels. My desire is that this weekly review will help make sense of that transition.

44)    Reiterate key terms! As we review, I hope to reiterate key terms like sin, holiness, prophet, priest, king, etc. Terms that they will need to know to understand how amazing Jesus is and what He has done for us!

Please pray for me as I teach. I can often be tempted to rely on my own strength, wisdom, training and not on the Holy Spirit. I desperately need Him to share His truth through me! And, hey, I need to learn it too! Pray that these truths will take such deep root in me as I prepare my lessons that I will not only teach them better, but my students will understand them better because they see that they are a part of my everyday life!

Pray for the students as we do this project. Pray that their minds will begin to grasp some of these truths and that their hearts will be prepared to behold Jesus as the truly amazing Person that He is and to see their personal need for Him!

*pictures coming soon**

Playing Dead

When I first came to the DR, I was determined that I was not going to experience culture shock. I had planned to be a missionary half of my life and I knew that would mean living life differently in a different place speaking a different language. I was not only ok with that, I was excited to embrace it and learn new things, maybe even better things.

Was I sorely mistaken! In fact, I might have even experienced culture shock worse than some because I was so determined I wasn’t going to experience it. Had I expected and embraced it, I might have worked through it faster.

But, alas, this blogpost isn’t about my process of working through culture shock. It is about the fact that I am still learning and still shocked by many things in this “new” culture in which I live.

Today was one of those days. It actually started a few months ago and hit me like a brick today…

Over the last few months, the idea of family keeps running through my mind. Or lack of family, more precisely. How not one of my kids (or teenagers) in the batey seems to grasp what God’s design for a family is. Not for lack of discussion, of course; but not having SEEN it, they don’t really have a mental file folder to put those conversations into. What they have seen is a whole lot of open immorality, unfaithfulness, families in which almost every kid is from a different father, etc., etc., etc. I want so badly for a couple of these teenagers to get a glimpse of what God’s design for the family is and to live it out for the next generation to have that example.

So today, I was sitting in the school watching the kids play at recess. Yariel called Daihana over and told her to “Come be the mom” of two other girls who were lying on the ground. I was immediately intrigued…I had never seen the kids play house before so I started watching more intently. I wanted to know what their version of “playing house” looked like. It didn’t take me long to realize that they weren’t playing house. Rather the 2 boys were racing each other on their chair “motorcycles” like maniacs. And the 2 girls lying on the ground? They were playing dead. The had apparently either fallen off the bikes or been run over by them. And the “mom” was supposed to come get her dead daughters. And that was perfectly normal to everyone involved. Why? Because it is what they have SEEN. Almost daily, I pass two or more young men racing down the road on their motorcycles at incredibly dangerous speeds. And quite often, those races end up in permanent damage or death for those involved. In fact, it has happened to several in the batey. It’s life they know.

What struck me was not the fact that they were playing a gruesome game that involved death. Unfortunately, I’ve seen that before in many places. What hit me like a brick is the fact that imagination and play give us a tiny glimpse into the mind of a child…What is it that they see every day? What is their “reality”? The fact is, I have never seen any of them play house before (perhaps they do and I haven’t witnessed it). What I have seen them play is fighting and driving recklessly and death. It breaks my heart that this is more their reality than family. I hope that one day, family will be a reality and I will get to witness their kids playing house - pretending to cook dinner, go to work, and discipline their pretend children.

Well, I’ve been back for 2 weeks now and this is my first post…not doing so hot at posting more often, but I’ll get there eventually.

The question I’ve been asked most since returning is “How does it feel to be back?” My answer? "Great!" The sun, the warmth, the ocean, my dog…I'm happy to see all of it, but not nearly as happy as I am to see my kiddos in the batey!

It’s no secret that my favorite part of doing ministry here is working with the kids and teaching Sunday School. In my class of kids aged 6 -14 in the batey, we have slowly but surely been working through the Bible chronologically for a few years and have now made it all the way King Solomon! Almost all the stories have been new to the kids, which has made teaching a bit more challenging than I had anticipated. At the beginning, every story seemed to have no context to them…they had no mental file folder to file it away in. I can’t tell you how many times I went over the story of Abraham. I wanted so badly for them to get it because understanding Abraham is so essential to understanding how God was working in the OT; however, every time I came back to review they were clueless as to who I was talking about and why it was important. Literally clueless. Like to the point that I really began to wonder if it would ever stick. I would move on for a few weeks and then direct it back to the story of Abraham so they could see how God was working. And every time, blank stares. Sooo frustrating.

(Let me just stop there and say that this isn’t all because they were hearing the stories for the first time. It is definitely compounded by poverty. While not all of my students have experienced the developmental delays associated with lack of proper nutrition and age-appropriate brain stimulation, many have. Sunday School might be the first place they’ve ever had someone tell them a story or ask them to respond to what they are hearing. It can take a while to learn how to listen to stories and process them. And top it off with the fact that the teacher speaks with a funny accent, using words they aren’t used to…there is definitely a learning curve for all involved!)

All that to say that my first 2 Sundays back were “review days” in which we reviewed the major OT events from creation to David. I was so happy to see how much they remembered and understood! Almost every kid can tell me the story of Adam and Eve without prompting (Yesss!). They know the names of Abraham, Moses, Samuel, Saul, David, and (their favorite) Samson. But what made me the most proud was hearing them answer questions about God’s promises to Abraham. Most were able to tell me that God promised Abraham a son, while a few others knew that He promised to make Abraham’s descendants into a nation and to give him the Promised Land, and one star student could even tell me that the promise included sending Jesus through Abraham’s family. I was soooo excited! Finally, it’s sticking!

I know that just hearing and comprehending these stories or being able to recall God’s promises to Abraham isn’t going to save these precious souls, but “faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.“ I know that God’s Word is living and powerful and a “simple story” from His Word can, through the work of the Holy Spirit, pierce their hearts and help them to understand and fear and love Him.  For some that will happen soon and for others, that may not happen till years down the road, but I teach in faith that His Word will not return void but will take root in their lives and, in the meantime, I celebrate the little victories He lets me see!

So my New Year's resolution is to write more...we shall see how this goes, but here is a start!

"Lessons from the Ice"

Friday morning I went ice skating with my friend Janelle and her 3 girls. They live in Florida so it was their first time on ice. I had to stifle my laughter as I watched the girls cling to the wall with a death grip as though falling on the ice would be the absolute worst thing they could experience. At first, we tried holding hands while they also held onto the wall, but it just wasn’t working. We couldn’t seem to get going at the same speed. Sometimes I was pulling them back almost causing them to fall. Other times I tried to take the lead so they could lean into the skating (and not fall backward), but that caused them to feel pressure to go faster. In the end, Haleigh, the oldest, decided to let go of the wall and give it a shot. Within minutes her skill had improved drastically and she could stay up on her own. It was amazing! She began to really enjoy it. There was freedom in not holding on to the walls any longer. She was free to really skate and enjoy herself. What had once looked terrifying, was now exhilarating, The walls that had once seemed so safe now seemed stifling and awkward. Once you let get, all you have to do is take one look back at those clinging to the walls to see they aren’t really skating and they aren’t really enjoying themselves.

Isn’t it the same with us? As we begin our walk with Jesus, we step onto the ice rink not having a clue what to expect or how to do this new "Christian" life. Some people just let go and follow Him fully from the beginning. They fall a bit more than the others and their failures are a lot more obvious; but maybe, just maybe they experience a whole lot more of Him. As they learn to follow Him, He takes them by the hand to show them how to do it and to get them going at His pace. 

Then there are those who step on the rink, but being terrified of what full-out obedience might have in store for them, they cling to the walls of tradition or half-way obedience. Oh, they tell themselves that it’s just for a time. Just till they get their footing and learn how to do this on their own. For some, maybe; but for most, days turn into months and years and they just grow comfortable on that wall. They sometimes look longingly at those doing fancy spins in the center, but they convince themselves that could never be them. Sometimes they even fool themselves into thinking they are really skating and that is as good as it gets. Mostly, I think, they are afraid. Afraid of pain. (What if they fall?) Afraid of the unknown. (What if God asks them to do something uncomfortable, difficult, against the grain?) 

There’s no denying that it’s difficult. There is pain, there is failure, there is fear, there is much unknown in following God. He is God, after all...we can’t put Him in a box and predict how He is going to work. But risks bring rewards. Pain brings gain. Letting go of the wall sets you free to grasp His hand and isn’t that the real reward, walking with Him?

Perhaps the issue is not learning “not to fear” but rather, learning to have courage. Choosing to obey even when we are afraid. As Katie Majors said, “I think that maybe courage is not all about the absence of fear but the obedience even when we are afraid. Maybe courage is trusting when we don't know what's next, leaning into the hard and knowing that it will be hard, but more, God will be near. He is the God Who Will Provide...Maybe bravery is just looking fear in the face and telling it it does not win because we have known the Lord here. We have known the Lord in the long dark night." So then learning to have courage doesn’t come from just saying, “I’m going to be courageous. I’m going to do what’s right.” It comes from knowing (really knowing) the One we claim to trust. Courage is rooted in the character of God. The very reason that I CAN trust courageously and that I CAN choose to obey bravely, even when I am terrified, is because I know God...I know that whatever He asks me to do is not just for His glory but also for my good. So how can I come to know Him in this way so that I CAN have courage and overcome fear. The Scriptures, of course! But it doesn't stop there. I must come to know Him by experience. Firsthand. Each time I hear His command and choose to obey, I experience the heart of the God as He takes my hand and leads me.